Chapter --
I know I haven't posted anything on my blog since...well...March? April? In my defense I do have some really good excuses...here's the top 5:
5. I am working on another writing project, and due to time I can only really devote time to one or the other (sorry blog-o-sphere...see more below)
4. I moved (again) ! This time with Steph.
3. I am going to nursing school!!
2. Because I moved and am going to nursing school, it required me to search for a new part-time job.
1. I got married! (Okay, it was way back in June, but even after 6 months I still see my beautiful wife through puppy-dog eyes).
So anyway, why post anything now? Well, I was hoping to get at least one more quick post in before the end of the year and earlier this year, I had a tough choice between either continuing to blog or to really put forth some effort into working on a little book and get it finished. Because I do not unfortunately have time to do both blogging and book writing right now (probably not until summer) I decided to work on the book. After thinking on this for the last couple weeks, I have decided to share a little tid-bit of my labor in posting a rough draft of one of the chapters. Feedback is welcome; and if you think the chapter may be out of context, trust me it is and I meant it to be that way. At the very least, please enjoy this post-Christmas gift.
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"Welcome Party"
With a swift kick, the soccer ball flew to the far right of the goal. Scott swore softly under his breath. It had been a week since his parents had hosted the dinner with Cassie's parents and he still could not get over how much of a disaster the whole thing was.
First of all, the parents were completely opposite of each other in every aspect - from how they dressed to how they acted. His parents were very laid back and casual, him and his family wore nice jeans and collared shirts and Cassie and her family all wore slacks, dresses with makeup. His family sat back in there chairs, completely relaxed and not bothered while Cassie and her family sat stiffly on the edge of there seats where they smiled stiffly and formally, looking rather uncomfortable. His Dad drank beer directly out of the bottle while her mother quickly sipped water out of her glass.
Secondly, when his little sister, Mandy, found out that Elly, Cassie's little sister, was younger than her, Mandy immediately started calling Elly "twerp." Which of course meant that Elly sat across from Mandy scowling the entire time. Scott kept glancing at Cassie, trying to figure out how she was taking her younger sister being called a twerp by another person's kid sister. Yet Cassie sat their, unflinching, as though she was above it all. Cassie sat there polite, lady-like and perhaps how you would expect a stereotypical southern bell act.
And that was the third and perhaps the most frustrating and maddening thing about the dinner was that the friend that he had started to get to know, was there, sitting across from him in person at the table, but it was not who he thought she was in personality. There was no fire, no passion, no swearing at her parents for making such a quick decision like the person he had dropped off at her house not an hour before.
On the few occasions that she did speak, she spoke softly and looked down, no hint of the tom-boyish smile or gleam in her eyes like he had grown used to seeing. He could slightly see her face get a little flushed under her makeup but it was ever so slight that he wasn't sure if it was really happening or was just his imagination.
At one point, after the dinner portion was over, Scott and his family cleared the dishes to make room for dessert (Cassie did offer to help but was immediately rejected by his mom), he though he overheard Cassie's dad, Mr. Leeds, softly say "I like them" and Mrs. Leeds smile ever so slightly in reply but again, the exchange happened so fast Scott wasn't sure if it really happened or if he was imagining. Even though all of this was upsetting and frustrating, the absolutely, most infuriating part of it was that as the Leeds were heading to their car, Cassie, who was in the rear of the group, paused for a second and looked over her left shoulder directly at Scott and smiled. The smile was her genuine smile that he had become used to seeing and was looking for all evening. Right at that moment, a breeze kicked up and blew some of her blond hair, which was pulled up into a ponytail into her face. Then in the same instant is was done. The moment had been lost in real time, but it had burned itself permanently into Scott's mind. The image of her standing their in her powder-blue shirt, beige miniskirt, with her hair all up in a ponytail...he gave the soccer ball another hard kick and this time it flew far off to the left of the goal.
"AAAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!" Scott yelled at the top of his lungs, trying to get the image of Cassie out of his head and focus on practicing.
Scott had been in Maryland for just a little over a month and he was already day dreaming about some girl. It wasn't fair. He had no intention of making any lasting friendships here. he still planned on moving back to Pennsylvania for college as soon as his year at this high school was done so as far he was concerned he should still be friendly but to make any lasting friends here would be meaningless. Yet here he was, starting to lust after some girl he barely knew and for all purposes had no plans to get to know or have anything else to do with after this year ended. He was still mad at his parents for uprooting him right before his senior year - the year he was looking forward to. The year he had been banking and building his social points for, now all useless. he did get a chance to see some of his friends when he went back to Pennsylvania to help his father and sister pack up the remaining items that needed to be moved and get his truck. The time he had to spend was limited and compressed and didn't seem like nearly enough. It was a busy time for his friends, also. The summer festival was starting and many of them were working for some of the vendors. Perhaps, he had thought at the time it was better that way since he had no idea if and when he would make it back hoe. They had kept up with e-mailing, so far, but the emails were slowly becoming more of a form letter, circling around the same topics and becoming stale. After all, how much raw emotion can you really convey in an e-mail?
One positive, was that he got to spend some time with Jessica. They had known each other since daycare. They had birthdays very close to each other and had gradually melded into each others lives. In many ways, they were more siblings than friends. She often called Scott her "bubby." Her combination of buddy and brother. In grade school they had each others backs. He would beat up the boyfriends that broke her heart and she would be there as a shoulder to cry on when a girl broke his heart or to chew him out if he broke up with a girl that she thought treated him well.
They maintained their friendship throughout high school. She played on the volleyball team and he played soccer and they would go to each others games. One of the defining moments of their relationships was when Scott was sitting in the bleachers of one of Jessica's volleyball matches with some of his soccer teammates and they had just finished a cheer and Jessica turned her head towards the group, found Scott in the mix and blew him a kiss.
The next day the whole school was a buzz with the news and he and Jessica were bunched together as the latest high school power couple. Scott seemed to take the brunt of it, wedged between the gaggles of teary-eyed girls upset that he hadn't chosen one of them and the guys who slammed fists into there opposite hands because he had taken any hope of dating Jessica away from them. They both found this funny because neither one of them, at that time, wanted to date the other. They had a platonic relationship for so long that any desire to see each other as romantic partners wasn't even an option anymore. So they ignored the high school rumor mill as much as possible and just continued on as they had always done.
But when they met a few weeks ago, things seemed different. They were both relieved to see each other, but underneath there was something else between the two of them. Talking with some of his other friends beforehand, Scott found out that Jessica had been miserable without him by her side the last few weeks of school. Scott was taken back by the news, not that he hadn't though about her while he was away, but he had been so busy with unpacking and getting the new house in order that everything and everyone in Pennsylvania had seemed very distant and detached so he never gave it much thought. Finally seeing Jessica again in person, brought his feelings of missing her back into focus. They blocked a day out to spend together. It was largely spend at Jessica's house lounging around in her backyard as they caught each other up on everything that had been going on with both of them. When Scott was telling her about the dock building experience, her face became cloudy, as though she was really focusing on what he was saying. It wasn't until he was done, did her face return to the normal, happy self that she was normally. After he finished, they decided to walk downtown to the festival. Fortunately, Jessica lived in town and not too far and as they walked together, a silence fell between them. Not an awkward silence, but a comfortable one like they used to have before he had left. The late-spring, early summer air was still cool enough for them to have to wear sweatshirts, but warm enough to have shorts on and wear flip-flops - typical Pennsylvania weather. That time, while they were walking, was when Scott became aware of the added undercurrent between them. Had they been fooling themselves for the last three years, after Jessica had blown him that kiss from the court? He glanced over at her, trying to interpret her facial expressions now but couldn't. She wrapped her arms around his left arm gently and whispered:
"I missed you."
And then she released his arm just as gently when they got to the outside of the festival crowd. The rest of the time passed in a blur. They bounced between the craft vendors where their friends were working and the carnival rides. Much sooner than they wanted, Scott was standing by the drivers side door of his truck ready to go when Jessica leaned in and kissed him softly on his lips. He wrapped his arms around her and they stayed like that for a few minutes before she leaned back and looked at him full in the face.
"What are we?" He asked.
"Us," She replied. "You are my Bubby and always will be."
"I'm not sure how I feel about being just that," Scott said, confused.
"Me either, but what choice do we have now?" Jessica said. Scott could see the tears starting to well up in her eyes. "You'll still keep in touch, right?"
"Absolutely," He said.
Though as he said it, they both knew it was never be in the way they wanted.
With that, they said their goodbyes and Scott got into his truck and went back to his house and the next morning, left with his sister and father for Maryland.
* * * *
As Scott paused for a minuted, reflecting again back to the dinner he could acknowledge one good thing that came from that hellish experience: Cassie had brought along a packet of information about the soccer team she had picked up at school for Scott. Included were hand written directions and a map to the schools practice soccer fields. Now that he had his own transportation it meant that he could go and do legitimate practice. It also meant that he had reliable transportation into town for a job. So, he had spent the last week splitting his time searching for a part-time job and starting his training for soccer tryouts in a month and a half time. For him, it was a win-win situation. Even though Cassie had tried calling him and had left numerous messages, he used his job search and training time to avoid her and some resolution between his feelings for both Jessica and Cassie. He didn't want to decide. Truth be told he felt that it was pointless to choose: nothing would be happening with either Jessica or Cassie so why worry about it? But even this line of thought only lasted a mere minute before his mind was back spinning in the endless circles.
Even here on the soccer field, where before he was able to leave anything that bothered him on the sidelines, he couldn't escape the mental conflict. Which was not good for his sanity nor his soccer skills.
Stopping in the center of the field, he looked around at the crisp white lines of the soccer field, reminding himself again where he was: home. He took several slow, deep breaths and feeling more relaxed he was able to focus and began practicing once again.
* * * *
Meanwhile, Cassie had taken a road trip to one of the few places that was not over run by people, traffic, or houses. She decided not to go sailing today, even though that was what she would rather be doing. She hadn't heard from Scott all week so she thought it would be awkward for her to just show up and go out in the sailboat. Instead, she found herself stretched out in the grass, in the shade of a tree in the middle of a field. The farthest away of the water that she could be. She used to go on picnics here with her family when she and Elly were younger. Lazy summer afternoons were spent here as a family, eating a picnic lunch while sprawled out on an old blanket, just trying to let the humidity and heat roll over her. After they had taken a short nap, she and her dad would take off there shoes and walk barefoot through the field, to a stream that was near the edge and go wading, lifting up the rocks looking for craw fish and frogs. They even went when Elly was a baby, but when she got older, they stopped. Elly never liked them and a few ears ago she threw such a tantrum that no one brought up the idea since. She was very girly and every bit opposite the tomboy Cassie was. As annoying as it could be Cassie figured her parents go the best of both worlds - even though they were at either end of the daughter-spectrum, the two of them together equaled one "normal" daughter. Then again, Cassie thought ruefully, maybe her parents spent more time in private ripping their hair out.
So there she lay on the ground. Staring blankly through the leaves at the glimmer of the sun. The day was hot but since it was only late June the humidity hadn't completely taken hold. The coolness of the ground and shade combined to help balance out the heat of the sun. Having not heard anything from Scott she was feeling confused and a little hurt. From her perspective, the dinner had gone well. Not fantastic, as he and her parents wished for a little more notice but it was still fun. Even this morning as she was eating her breakfast her dad was raving about it. As he was eating his cereal he was on the laptop researching some breweries to tour with Scott's dad. Even with such short notice and being such a mess from being out on the boat all day, Cassie thought that she had done a good job of cleaning up and making herself look cute for Scott. But when they were leaving and she looked back at Scott, who was looking at her funny all night long, all she saw on his face was a look of embarrassment and anger. She didn't call at all that night because she thought it better to leave Scott alone but when she tried the next day, Mandy answered the phone and had said that Scott was still sleeping but answered:
"I like you," Mandy happily said over the phone. "And I think my brother likes you too. I'll make sure he calls you back."
And then she hung up.
Cassie couldn't help but smile when she though about this. How did Scott end up having such a cute little sister? Although, Elly did not feel the same way. When they got home that night she started ranting and raving over Mandy calling her a twerp. Cassie reminded Elly that she called her a twerp regularly and what difference did it make? With that Ell gave a loud grunt and stomped up the stair to her room where they could hear her stomping around until they her her flop onto her bed. Her parents scowled at Cassie but she didn't care. Cassie was happy someone else agreed with her.
Regardless of how she though the evening went, Scott never called. Cassie though about calling again, but decided against it. When it came down to it, she really didn't know Scott that well. They had spent time talking when he came over to work on Cassie's truck for her, but she felt those conversations were just superficial, get-to-know-you conversations. She wanted to know more but didn't want to push and pry too hard so as to scare him away.
Mulling this over in her mind she heard her cellphone ring. A little unhappy about the interruption she pulled her phone out and looked to see who was calling - Jared. No Scott. Figures. He hadn't called all week, why would he do that now?? Disappointed she answered her phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey! This is Jared."
"Hey, what's up?" She asked, not very enthusiastically.
"What's up with you? You sound upset?"
"Oh, well, it's nothing."
"Okay, good. Do you have any plans for the rest of today and tonight?"
"No." Definitely not. "Why?"
"Even better. Come to Smokey's at five."
"Five? That's in an hour! Jared, what is going on?"
"Dinner, see you then."
"Jared -"
And then he hung up.
Cassie looked at the time again. She would have just enough time to get to her house, change and meet up at Smokey's. Before she stood up, she sent a text to Clara to see if she could get any more details from her. Cassie had just reached her truck when Clara replied: "sizzle."
"What the heck is that supposed to mean?" Cassie wondered aloud.
Her friends, for as much as she loved them, could be so annoying sometimes. It took some creative driving for her, but she made it to Smokey's on time. She scanned the room as soon as she stepped through the door of the restaurant and out of the corner of her eye she saw Clara wave. As Cassie got closer, she saw Clara was by the door to the outside patio and then Jared came into view and there was Tyler, one of the boys from the soccer team standing by him along with one of the girls from the girls soccer team, someone who she knew by sight but had never really talked with. And then, she was almost there when from behind Tyler stepped the one person who was really driving her bonkers: Scott. And then Clara's text made sense. Yep, her friends could be really annoying sometimes.
"Sizzle my ass," Cassie thought to herself. Even though he did have a sweaty glow to him.
"Cassie! You made it!" Jared called out when he saw her walk up. "We decided to eat outside since the shad is good out on the patio. Hope that's okay with you."
"That's fine," She said. As Scott made eye contact with her, she suddenly became self-conscious and wondered if she got too dolled up this time around.
"Hey girl! You look cute!" Clara said, as she walked up to give her best friend a hug. "Glad you made it in time. Your parents said that you weren't home at all today. Did you go out on the boat?"
"No, I decided to stay on dry land today," Cassie said. Moving some hair out of her eyes, trying to casually look at Scott's face, which was frustratingly turned the opposite direction, talking to Tyler and the other girl.
"Oh, I see." Clara said following Cassie's gaze. "Is everything going okay?"
"Yeah, I think so." Cassie shrugged. "so, what's the plan for tonight?"
"Celebration!" Jared yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. Cassie and Clara had to jump back to avoid getting hit in the face.
The waitress came up just then and motioned for them to follow her outside.
"We are celebrating the beginning of a new era for our soccer team. We are CEL-ABRATING the beginning of our summer vaca and we are celebrating the return of our new friend...Scott-man." Jared continued, clapping Scott on the back between his shoulder blades. "You should have seen this guy out on the soccer field , he is a BEAST! Tyler, back me up on this."
"Yeah, he's not too shabby. He gave me a run for my money. With him on our squad this year we should be able to make it to championships."
"If I make the squad," Scott interjected, still not fully meeting Cassie's gaze.
"Don't be too hard on yourself," Tyler rebuffed. "You'll make the cut easy enough."
"How did you guys meet?" Cassie asked, as they had reached their table and sat down. Scott sitting directly across from Cassie. Neither one could avoid the others gaze now.
Scott had been completely invisible to her this entire week, so how did these guys find him so easily?
"The four of us - me, Clara, Tyler and Rachel," Jared said pointing to everyone in turn. "Were walking back from the football field where I was explaining the football teams' new strategy-"
"-You were complaining that the weight room was closed for the next month," Clara interjected.
"-Whatever," Jared said. "Anyway, we were walking by the soccer practice field when we saw Scott-man here -"
"- I told you not to call me that," Scott mumbled.
"-Doesn't matter. Stop interrupting," Jared continued. "We saw him practicing by himself. Tyler was on the soccer team last year - even though he was just the goalie - thought that he would see how good Scott here really was. So since Rachel plays on the girls team, they challenged Scott to some one-on-one with goalie play."
"And?" Cassie asked, in spite of herself, wanting Jared to get to the point.
"-And Scott here kicked some major butt." Jared finished, deflated from all of the interruptions to his story.
"I guess that's why you didn't return my call then," Cassie said before she could stop herself. " You were too busy having a threesome on the soccer field."
Cassie clasped her hand over her mouth and felt her face turning red. The rest of the table howled with laughter and looked back and forth between the two of them. Jared and Tyler were making fun of Scott but neither one were paying much attention. Cassie was looking at Scott, her fury and frustration at him finally coming out but also perplexed by the look Scott was giving her now - he was laughing but looking straight at her with a look like someone gives you after not seeing you after a vacation or long trip.
She didn't care, though. She didn't get up and leave the table. She was done with running away. She wanted answers. Answers about who this boy really was. Answers about how she felt about this boy. Answers about what this year - her senior year in high school was going to be like with her group of friends which now included this strange new boy. And the only way she would get any answers was to stay and find them out on her own. Cassie peered through her bangs that fell down in front of her face at him and his face, turning slightly red in spite of himself, too.
The waitress brought drinks for them and their orders. When the waitress left, Jared reached for his glass. Clara rolled her eyes and Jared noticing but ignoring it stood up as he spoke.
"Yes, you can roll your eyes but that won't change a thing," He said. "Ladies and gents, grab your glasses for a toast."
He paused for a minute to give everyone a chance to grab their glasses.
"A toast, may our friendship grow stronger and whatever direction we take at the end of this year, may we always come back to this time and to this place. To Smokey's!"
"To Smokey's!" Everyone chimed in, with glasses raised.
"Huzzah!" Jared mumbled, as Clara put her hand on his arm and gently pulled him back to his seat.
"That's enough, Jared," Clara said softly, to get him to settle down, as she patted his left arm.
After a few minutes silence while everyone tried not to laugh Jared sheepishly looked around the table, smiled and asked:
"So, anyone read any good books lately?"
Tyler snorted his drink unable to keep from laughing finally breaking the tension and the conversation started again.
##
5. I am working on another writing project, and due to time I can only really devote time to one or the other (sorry blog-o-sphere...see more below)
4. I moved (again) ! This time with Steph.
3. I am going to nursing school!!
2. Because I moved and am going to nursing school, it required me to search for a new part-time job.
1. I got married! (Okay, it was way back in June, but even after 6 months I still see my beautiful wife through puppy-dog eyes).
So anyway, why post anything now? Well, I was hoping to get at least one more quick post in before the end of the year and earlier this year, I had a tough choice between either continuing to blog or to really put forth some effort into working on a little book and get it finished. Because I do not unfortunately have time to do both blogging and book writing right now (probably not until summer) I decided to work on the book. After thinking on this for the last couple weeks, I have decided to share a little tid-bit of my labor in posting a rough draft of one of the chapters. Feedback is welcome; and if you think the chapter may be out of context, trust me it is and I meant it to be that way. At the very least, please enjoy this post-Christmas gift.
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"Welcome Party"
With a swift kick, the soccer ball flew to the far right of the goal. Scott swore softly under his breath. It had been a week since his parents had hosted the dinner with Cassie's parents and he still could not get over how much of a disaster the whole thing was.
First of all, the parents were completely opposite of each other in every aspect - from how they dressed to how they acted. His parents were very laid back and casual, him and his family wore nice jeans and collared shirts and Cassie and her family all wore slacks, dresses with makeup. His family sat back in there chairs, completely relaxed and not bothered while Cassie and her family sat stiffly on the edge of there seats where they smiled stiffly and formally, looking rather uncomfortable. His Dad drank beer directly out of the bottle while her mother quickly sipped water out of her glass.
Secondly, when his little sister, Mandy, found out that Elly, Cassie's little sister, was younger than her, Mandy immediately started calling Elly "twerp." Which of course meant that Elly sat across from Mandy scowling the entire time. Scott kept glancing at Cassie, trying to figure out how she was taking her younger sister being called a twerp by another person's kid sister. Yet Cassie sat their, unflinching, as though she was above it all. Cassie sat there polite, lady-like and perhaps how you would expect a stereotypical southern bell act.
And that was the third and perhaps the most frustrating and maddening thing about the dinner was that the friend that he had started to get to know, was there, sitting across from him in person at the table, but it was not who he thought she was in personality. There was no fire, no passion, no swearing at her parents for making such a quick decision like the person he had dropped off at her house not an hour before.
On the few occasions that she did speak, she spoke softly and looked down, no hint of the tom-boyish smile or gleam in her eyes like he had grown used to seeing. He could slightly see her face get a little flushed under her makeup but it was ever so slight that he wasn't sure if it was really happening or was just his imagination.
At one point, after the dinner portion was over, Scott and his family cleared the dishes to make room for dessert (Cassie did offer to help but was immediately rejected by his mom), he though he overheard Cassie's dad, Mr. Leeds, softly say "I like them" and Mrs. Leeds smile ever so slightly in reply but again, the exchange happened so fast Scott wasn't sure if it really happened or if he was imagining. Even though all of this was upsetting and frustrating, the absolutely, most infuriating part of it was that as the Leeds were heading to their car, Cassie, who was in the rear of the group, paused for a second and looked over her left shoulder directly at Scott and smiled. The smile was her genuine smile that he had become used to seeing and was looking for all evening. Right at that moment, a breeze kicked up and blew some of her blond hair, which was pulled up into a ponytail into her face. Then in the same instant is was done. The moment had been lost in real time, but it had burned itself permanently into Scott's mind. The image of her standing their in her powder-blue shirt, beige miniskirt, with her hair all up in a ponytail...he gave the soccer ball another hard kick and this time it flew far off to the left of the goal.
"AAAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!" Scott yelled at the top of his lungs, trying to get the image of Cassie out of his head and focus on practicing.
Scott had been in Maryland for just a little over a month and he was already day dreaming about some girl. It wasn't fair. He had no intention of making any lasting friendships here. he still planned on moving back to Pennsylvania for college as soon as his year at this high school was done so as far he was concerned he should still be friendly but to make any lasting friends here would be meaningless. Yet here he was, starting to lust after some girl he barely knew and for all purposes had no plans to get to know or have anything else to do with after this year ended. He was still mad at his parents for uprooting him right before his senior year - the year he was looking forward to. The year he had been banking and building his social points for, now all useless. he did get a chance to see some of his friends when he went back to Pennsylvania to help his father and sister pack up the remaining items that needed to be moved and get his truck. The time he had to spend was limited and compressed and didn't seem like nearly enough. It was a busy time for his friends, also. The summer festival was starting and many of them were working for some of the vendors. Perhaps, he had thought at the time it was better that way since he had no idea if and when he would make it back hoe. They had kept up with e-mailing, so far, but the emails were slowly becoming more of a form letter, circling around the same topics and becoming stale. After all, how much raw emotion can you really convey in an e-mail?
One positive, was that he got to spend some time with Jessica. They had known each other since daycare. They had birthdays very close to each other and had gradually melded into each others lives. In many ways, they were more siblings than friends. She often called Scott her "bubby." Her combination of buddy and brother. In grade school they had each others backs. He would beat up the boyfriends that broke her heart and she would be there as a shoulder to cry on when a girl broke his heart or to chew him out if he broke up with a girl that she thought treated him well.
They maintained their friendship throughout high school. She played on the volleyball team and he played soccer and they would go to each others games. One of the defining moments of their relationships was when Scott was sitting in the bleachers of one of Jessica's volleyball matches with some of his soccer teammates and they had just finished a cheer and Jessica turned her head towards the group, found Scott in the mix and blew him a kiss.
The next day the whole school was a buzz with the news and he and Jessica were bunched together as the latest high school power couple. Scott seemed to take the brunt of it, wedged between the gaggles of teary-eyed girls upset that he hadn't chosen one of them and the guys who slammed fists into there opposite hands because he had taken any hope of dating Jessica away from them. They both found this funny because neither one of them, at that time, wanted to date the other. They had a platonic relationship for so long that any desire to see each other as romantic partners wasn't even an option anymore. So they ignored the high school rumor mill as much as possible and just continued on as they had always done.
But when they met a few weeks ago, things seemed different. They were both relieved to see each other, but underneath there was something else between the two of them. Talking with some of his other friends beforehand, Scott found out that Jessica had been miserable without him by her side the last few weeks of school. Scott was taken back by the news, not that he hadn't though about her while he was away, but he had been so busy with unpacking and getting the new house in order that everything and everyone in Pennsylvania had seemed very distant and detached so he never gave it much thought. Finally seeing Jessica again in person, brought his feelings of missing her back into focus. They blocked a day out to spend together. It was largely spend at Jessica's house lounging around in her backyard as they caught each other up on everything that had been going on with both of them. When Scott was telling her about the dock building experience, her face became cloudy, as though she was really focusing on what he was saying. It wasn't until he was done, did her face return to the normal, happy self that she was normally. After he finished, they decided to walk downtown to the festival. Fortunately, Jessica lived in town and not too far and as they walked together, a silence fell between them. Not an awkward silence, but a comfortable one like they used to have before he had left. The late-spring, early summer air was still cool enough for them to have to wear sweatshirts, but warm enough to have shorts on and wear flip-flops - typical Pennsylvania weather. That time, while they were walking, was when Scott became aware of the added undercurrent between them. Had they been fooling themselves for the last three years, after Jessica had blown him that kiss from the court? He glanced over at her, trying to interpret her facial expressions now but couldn't. She wrapped her arms around his left arm gently and whispered:
"I missed you."
And then she released his arm just as gently when they got to the outside of the festival crowd. The rest of the time passed in a blur. They bounced between the craft vendors where their friends were working and the carnival rides. Much sooner than they wanted, Scott was standing by the drivers side door of his truck ready to go when Jessica leaned in and kissed him softly on his lips. He wrapped his arms around her and they stayed like that for a few minutes before she leaned back and looked at him full in the face.
"What are we?" He asked.
"Us," She replied. "You are my Bubby and always will be."
"I'm not sure how I feel about being just that," Scott said, confused.
"Me either, but what choice do we have now?" Jessica said. Scott could see the tears starting to well up in her eyes. "You'll still keep in touch, right?"
"Absolutely," He said.
Though as he said it, they both knew it was never be in the way they wanted.
With that, they said their goodbyes and Scott got into his truck and went back to his house and the next morning, left with his sister and father for Maryland.
* * * *
As Scott paused for a minuted, reflecting again back to the dinner he could acknowledge one good thing that came from that hellish experience: Cassie had brought along a packet of information about the soccer team she had picked up at school for Scott. Included were hand written directions and a map to the schools practice soccer fields. Now that he had his own transportation it meant that he could go and do legitimate practice. It also meant that he had reliable transportation into town for a job. So, he had spent the last week splitting his time searching for a part-time job and starting his training for soccer tryouts in a month and a half time. For him, it was a win-win situation. Even though Cassie had tried calling him and had left numerous messages, he used his job search and training time to avoid her and some resolution between his feelings for both Jessica and Cassie. He didn't want to decide. Truth be told he felt that it was pointless to choose: nothing would be happening with either Jessica or Cassie so why worry about it? But even this line of thought only lasted a mere minute before his mind was back spinning in the endless circles.
Even here on the soccer field, where before he was able to leave anything that bothered him on the sidelines, he couldn't escape the mental conflict. Which was not good for his sanity nor his soccer skills.
Stopping in the center of the field, he looked around at the crisp white lines of the soccer field, reminding himself again where he was: home. He took several slow, deep breaths and feeling more relaxed he was able to focus and began practicing once again.
* * * *
Meanwhile, Cassie had taken a road trip to one of the few places that was not over run by people, traffic, or houses. She decided not to go sailing today, even though that was what she would rather be doing. She hadn't heard from Scott all week so she thought it would be awkward for her to just show up and go out in the sailboat. Instead, she found herself stretched out in the grass, in the shade of a tree in the middle of a field. The farthest away of the water that she could be. She used to go on picnics here with her family when she and Elly were younger. Lazy summer afternoons were spent here as a family, eating a picnic lunch while sprawled out on an old blanket, just trying to let the humidity and heat roll over her. After they had taken a short nap, she and her dad would take off there shoes and walk barefoot through the field, to a stream that was near the edge and go wading, lifting up the rocks looking for craw fish and frogs. They even went when Elly was a baby, but when she got older, they stopped. Elly never liked them and a few ears ago she threw such a tantrum that no one brought up the idea since. She was very girly and every bit opposite the tomboy Cassie was. As annoying as it could be Cassie figured her parents go the best of both worlds - even though they were at either end of the daughter-spectrum, the two of them together equaled one "normal" daughter. Then again, Cassie thought ruefully, maybe her parents spent more time in private ripping their hair out.
So there she lay on the ground. Staring blankly through the leaves at the glimmer of the sun. The day was hot but since it was only late June the humidity hadn't completely taken hold. The coolness of the ground and shade combined to help balance out the heat of the sun. Having not heard anything from Scott she was feeling confused and a little hurt. From her perspective, the dinner had gone well. Not fantastic, as he and her parents wished for a little more notice but it was still fun. Even this morning as she was eating her breakfast her dad was raving about it. As he was eating his cereal he was on the laptop researching some breweries to tour with Scott's dad. Even with such short notice and being such a mess from being out on the boat all day, Cassie thought that she had done a good job of cleaning up and making herself look cute for Scott. But when they were leaving and she looked back at Scott, who was looking at her funny all night long, all she saw on his face was a look of embarrassment and anger. She didn't call at all that night because she thought it better to leave Scott alone but when she tried the next day, Mandy answered the phone and had said that Scott was still sleeping but answered:
"I like you," Mandy happily said over the phone. "And I think my brother likes you too. I'll make sure he calls you back."
And then she hung up.
Cassie couldn't help but smile when she though about this. How did Scott end up having such a cute little sister? Although, Elly did not feel the same way. When they got home that night she started ranting and raving over Mandy calling her a twerp. Cassie reminded Elly that she called her a twerp regularly and what difference did it make? With that Ell gave a loud grunt and stomped up the stair to her room where they could hear her stomping around until they her her flop onto her bed. Her parents scowled at Cassie but she didn't care. Cassie was happy someone else agreed with her.
Regardless of how she though the evening went, Scott never called. Cassie though about calling again, but decided against it. When it came down to it, she really didn't know Scott that well. They had spent time talking when he came over to work on Cassie's truck for her, but she felt those conversations were just superficial, get-to-know-you conversations. She wanted to know more but didn't want to push and pry too hard so as to scare him away.
Mulling this over in her mind she heard her cellphone ring. A little unhappy about the interruption she pulled her phone out and looked to see who was calling - Jared. No Scott. Figures. He hadn't called all week, why would he do that now?? Disappointed she answered her phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey! This is Jared."
"Hey, what's up?" She asked, not very enthusiastically.
"What's up with you? You sound upset?"
"Oh, well, it's nothing."
"Okay, good. Do you have any plans for the rest of today and tonight?"
"No." Definitely not. "Why?"
"Even better. Come to Smokey's at five."
"Five? That's in an hour! Jared, what is going on?"
"Dinner, see you then."
"Jared -"
And then he hung up.
Cassie looked at the time again. She would have just enough time to get to her house, change and meet up at Smokey's. Before she stood up, she sent a text to Clara to see if she could get any more details from her. Cassie had just reached her truck when Clara replied: "sizzle."
"What the heck is that supposed to mean?" Cassie wondered aloud.
Her friends, for as much as she loved them, could be so annoying sometimes. It took some creative driving for her, but she made it to Smokey's on time. She scanned the room as soon as she stepped through the door of the restaurant and out of the corner of her eye she saw Clara wave. As Cassie got closer, she saw Clara was by the door to the outside patio and then Jared came into view and there was Tyler, one of the boys from the soccer team standing by him along with one of the girls from the girls soccer team, someone who she knew by sight but had never really talked with. And then, she was almost there when from behind Tyler stepped the one person who was really driving her bonkers: Scott. And then Clara's text made sense. Yep, her friends could be really annoying sometimes.
"Sizzle my ass," Cassie thought to herself. Even though he did have a sweaty glow to him.
"Cassie! You made it!" Jared called out when he saw her walk up. "We decided to eat outside since the shad is good out on the patio. Hope that's okay with you."
"That's fine," She said. As Scott made eye contact with her, she suddenly became self-conscious and wondered if she got too dolled up this time around.
"Hey girl! You look cute!" Clara said, as she walked up to give her best friend a hug. "Glad you made it in time. Your parents said that you weren't home at all today. Did you go out on the boat?"
"No, I decided to stay on dry land today," Cassie said. Moving some hair out of her eyes, trying to casually look at Scott's face, which was frustratingly turned the opposite direction, talking to Tyler and the other girl.
"Oh, I see." Clara said following Cassie's gaze. "Is everything going okay?"
"Yeah, I think so." Cassie shrugged. "so, what's the plan for tonight?"
"Celebration!" Jared yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. Cassie and Clara had to jump back to avoid getting hit in the face.
The waitress came up just then and motioned for them to follow her outside.
"We are celebrating the beginning of a new era for our soccer team. We are CEL-ABRATING the beginning of our summer vaca and we are celebrating the return of our new friend...Scott-man." Jared continued, clapping Scott on the back between his shoulder blades. "You should have seen this guy out on the soccer field , he is a BEAST! Tyler, back me up on this."
"Yeah, he's not too shabby. He gave me a run for my money. With him on our squad this year we should be able to make it to championships."
"If I make the squad," Scott interjected, still not fully meeting Cassie's gaze.
"Don't be too hard on yourself," Tyler rebuffed. "You'll make the cut easy enough."
"How did you guys meet?" Cassie asked, as they had reached their table and sat down. Scott sitting directly across from Cassie. Neither one could avoid the others gaze now.
Scott had been completely invisible to her this entire week, so how did these guys find him so easily?
"The four of us - me, Clara, Tyler and Rachel," Jared said pointing to everyone in turn. "Were walking back from the football field where I was explaining the football teams' new strategy-"
"-You were complaining that the weight room was closed for the next month," Clara interjected.
"-Whatever," Jared said. "Anyway, we were walking by the soccer practice field when we saw Scott-man here -"
"- I told you not to call me that," Scott mumbled.
"-Doesn't matter. Stop interrupting," Jared continued. "We saw him practicing by himself. Tyler was on the soccer team last year - even though he was just the goalie - thought that he would see how good Scott here really was. So since Rachel plays on the girls team, they challenged Scott to some one-on-one with goalie play."
"And?" Cassie asked, in spite of herself, wanting Jared to get to the point.
"-And Scott here kicked some major butt." Jared finished, deflated from all of the interruptions to his story.
"I guess that's why you didn't return my call then," Cassie said before she could stop herself. " You were too busy having a threesome on the soccer field."
Cassie clasped her hand over her mouth and felt her face turning red. The rest of the table howled with laughter and looked back and forth between the two of them. Jared and Tyler were making fun of Scott but neither one were paying much attention. Cassie was looking at Scott, her fury and frustration at him finally coming out but also perplexed by the look Scott was giving her now - he was laughing but looking straight at her with a look like someone gives you after not seeing you after a vacation or long trip.
She didn't care, though. She didn't get up and leave the table. She was done with running away. She wanted answers. Answers about who this boy really was. Answers about how she felt about this boy. Answers about what this year - her senior year in high school was going to be like with her group of friends which now included this strange new boy. And the only way she would get any answers was to stay and find them out on her own. Cassie peered through her bangs that fell down in front of her face at him and his face, turning slightly red in spite of himself, too.
The waitress brought drinks for them and their orders. When the waitress left, Jared reached for his glass. Clara rolled her eyes and Jared noticing but ignoring it stood up as he spoke.
"Yes, you can roll your eyes but that won't change a thing," He said. "Ladies and gents, grab your glasses for a toast."
He paused for a minute to give everyone a chance to grab their glasses.
"A toast, may our friendship grow stronger and whatever direction we take at the end of this year, may we always come back to this time and to this place. To Smokey's!"
"To Smokey's!" Everyone chimed in, with glasses raised.
"Huzzah!" Jared mumbled, as Clara put her hand on his arm and gently pulled him back to his seat.
"That's enough, Jared," Clara said softly, to get him to settle down, as she patted his left arm.
After a few minutes silence while everyone tried not to laugh Jared sheepishly looked around the table, smiled and asked:
"So, anyone read any good books lately?"
Tyler snorted his drink unable to keep from laughing finally breaking the tension and the conversation started again.
##
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