The Big 3-0

a.k.a. The scariest number that many people avoid for there entire lives, even after they pass it 3 times over.

But not for me.  I had made the decision about a month earlier that I would not let the number scare me. It was a fairly large order, especially after spending the last 29.11 years of my life always hearing people associate the big 3-0 with great regret and trepidation.  Almost as if that was the scariest combination. Forget zombies, the ending of all humanity, spiders, bumping into a scorned ex - I have seen nothing else strike fear into an adults psyche like those two numbers - three and zero put together in descending order.

Perhaps the next horror movie shouldn't feature zombies, or chain-saw wielding psychopaths. Give us a break from Nightmare on Elm Street remakes and let's look at a psychological thriller that everyone 20-something and over can relate to: the apparent dying of the inner self when one's biological clock roles over to the 30 year mark (I claim intellectual property rights here and now...Hollywood, you know how to get a hold of me).

I would be lying if I did not once consider my life a total loss if I was not on the cover of "Vanity Fair" by the time I turned 30. But in the 5 seconds that the thought crossed my mind, I got over it. Being told that I looked Amish when growing facial hair helped that thought fade away almost instantaneously (and has had a great impact on me ever after attempting to stay clean shaven).

For those of you reading who have not yet reached the great 3-0, let me tell you the big secret: 30 really is not that big of a deal.  In a way, it is and can be actually quite liberating. 

Some may disagree; say that this "liberation" is a farce. Say that instead 30 brings more responsibility, more reasons to "act like an adult" more reasons to batten down the hatches and start debating the benefits and drawbacks of 301(k)'s as opposed to Fidelity Low Risk retirement accounts.  That's not what I am talking about. I am talking about finally having enough perceived experience to really not care about what anyone else thinks without coming across as (too much) of a pompous ass. 

Perhaps, though a down side to this new found liberation is the fact that, as you grow older, the more isolated you actually become. Friends get married and have kids, so soon your adult play dates turn into the kids play dates with your conversations muffled in random places and paused and punctuated with exclamations of "No, don't do that!" or "What are you doing? You don't know either? Alright, then, I'll follow your lead."

If you are a parent reading this and you find the situation true, but somewhat awkward, then you have an idea of how I find it as being engaged (read: practically married) and not having any kids. This situation equates to being really awkward for me.  Don't get me wrong, I don't mind it at all, the way I see it, this will soon be me and I am taking advantage of observing  your foibles as a parent so I can see what to do and what not to do. Don't worry, I am judging you, but not like I was judging you in high school.

Perhaps another down side is when you take the time to reflect on what you actually did in your first thirty years and compare that to what you thought you were going to do, or wanted to do.  When I was 22 I did put together a list of things I wanted to accomplish before I turned thirty and I came across the list a couple weeks before my birthday.  Here are a few entries from that list:

Travel -
West Coast: Oregon, Washington State, California, Colorado
Hike segments of the Pacific Rim Trail
Hike the PA Midstate Trail
Learn to dance the tango
 Participate in a triathalon

and so on.

Have I accomplished any of those yet? No. Will I? I hope so. What have I accomplished in the last thirty years?

Taught as an adjunct professor for two colleges
Worked as a Research Assistant in a world-class research university
Taken enough college credits to have 3 bachelors degrees
Found the love of my life
Getting married
Met so many incredible people who have influenced my life; and I hope that I have influenced theirs just a little bit.

and so on, their are a few more but they are rather personal and those involved know who they are.

So I sat their and looked at the original list and I compared that to my current resume, and I couldn't help but think that when I put the first list together, I was a bit off. Okay, I was really off; I would still love to travel, not just on the west coast, but all over - go to Europe, span the continent, travel to Japan, maybe China.  Perhaps, the biggest challenge that I have found has been that as I am growing older, I am missing out on experiencing people, places a little more than I had the opportunity to when I was younger. 

I don't regret doing what I did; the thing is that yes, I never wanted to travel or experience any of these things alone.

Going to the west coast, going across the pond to Europe and traveling by train, those were never experiences that I wanted to have by myself, they were - and still are - experiences that I wanted to have with someone else. And, the exciting part is, now I do have someone else. and for as much as I did not accomplish them before I turned thirty, now I know that I can still accomplish them - the way I wanted to all along  and with another person or two in tow (eventually) - that is one of the many reasons why I am soft on turning thirty. One of the reasons why I am looking forward to life after thirty. And why turning thirty really is not that big of a deal.