Be silent...be still...

...I will pause for a second to allow you all a moment to flashback to scenes from the movie starring Freddie Prinze, Jr and Rachael Leigh Cook...

Now then. A lot has happened in the month (or two, at this point) since I last posted.  Among the most pressing matters, my contract at the state park has ended (sad) and I am no longer residing at the cabin (very sad).  However, I do have new full time employment (happy) and have moved to Reading, with Madame (very happy).  Madame is very happy with the changes, most understandably the fact that I am so close to her she can reach out and touch me. I too am happy about the recent changes. With these changes comes the usual challenges of sorting and packing and transporting what few items that I still have after multiple moves (believe me when I say that my supply chain stretches over the better part of three states - George Carlin, from wherever you ended up after you died, eat your heart out). 

Thanks to my years of experience, I have been able to condense the entire packing process into a span of two - three hours. I always tend to get philosophical whenever I move, my mind going through the familiar, cliched mantra of one chapter ending and another one closing...blah, blah, blah. But this time it is a little different because one chapter literally is ending and another one (a very short chapter until the wedding) has already begun.

The biggest difference is that it could lead to the elusive comfort of routine brought about through the disease known to those of the Bohemian inclination as permanency. Or, it could work out to be another short stint ending with another move (with luck, though, Madame would be coming along).

So, as you see, this move comes at a very critical juncture in my life and is why it calls for much more than the typical pre-move contemplation. 

You may be curious as to why I have to think about this move. It is finally giving me the opportunity to put down roots with another person To finally give me the opportunity to, after getting married, start a family; have adult friends in the same place; have company over; be a normal (almost) 30-year-old; buy. a. house. WHAT could POSSIBLY be the issue????

Well.......

Truth be told, all of the above.  See, as much as I want to have some regularity and something permanent; for the last ten years I have been so mobile, that it has become part of my internal processes to be physically in movement every 12 - 16 months. Don't get me wrong, I  am not complaining by any means. I have loved the mobility and I have also yearned for the chance to be able to settle. I have been incredibly fortunate to find someone with whom I want to settle with, but the problem is the only time that I have been silent and still has been to prepare for my next move. Now I am faced with this chance, this possibility to be silent, be still and instead of move to another place, it is move into another persons life.  I am excited for the challenge, but still, I am sure even Ghandi would say something to the effect of "Let's wait a minute and think this out."

Upon further reflection, I have found that to look at this specific issue we must first consider the larger philosophical framework - that would be, of course, the whole approach of be silent, be still.

In the last few blogs I have talked about the slow impact of leave no trace, the helpfulness of simplicity, etc.  but all of that is just a piece of the larger picture and the question of what can we do to direct and make the most of our time, our decisions? The answer that comes to mind is be silent, be still.

For those of you who are action-oriented, this is the worst possible answer that I could give. And you may be right. Though when I think about it, all truth be told, the larger events that I have been a part of have not happened because of what I may have done, more often than not it is because of what I have not done. Perhaps this is most true in my relationship with Madame. We both have found that in many situations, the best thing to do is to let it go and "it" will work itself out. And for the most part it has. Now, don't get me wrong, our wedding will not be left to chance to organize itself. That one will be the exception. But the fact that we have gotten this far, the fact that we are where we are, is largely due to us working and communicating with each other, but also letting time accumulate on its own and moving on its own and we just go along with the flow.

One of my favorite Calvin and Hobbes strips has Calvin looking up to Hobbes and saying "The world isn't such a bad place if you can just get out in it."

I have always agreed with this sentiment and have followed it to the "t" and have gotten out in the world, mostly pointedly to get away from it and it has been a blessing to have been able to do such. But the difficulty now is that I cannot go out on a whim. I have another person to consider before doing such. The challenge now lies in knowing when to combine times and when to take some time apart. But even more, the question is how to find those moments together.

And the answer comes in be silent, be still. Together. I have searched over the last 29 years and have found the best spots to be silent and still alone. Now the challenge that lies ahead is to find those places in which to stay silent and still together, two people as one. 

I invite you all to come along for the journey.